Do you feel as though you are the only person that can see the dishes in the sink, the overflowing wash basket and the toilet that would be better placed in your nearest underground station!!! Well there is one consolation, and that is you are not alone….you have me to add to your club. We stand shoulder to shoulder, united! OK, slight exaggeration and glorification of what can seem like hell on earth when having to endure the same gripes on an almost daily basis but I had to think of some way of addressing the issue that would induce a smile rather than a growl (that rhymes doesn’t it or does it?!).
In all seriousness this can have a detrimental effect on your physical health for sanitary purposes (not wanting to sit on your own toilet is an issue for infection control purposes) but more importantly ones mental health.
Mental illness is the largest single source of burden of disease in the UK. So wherein lies the answers? Mental health can vary in severity but for the purposes of these ramblings we are going to focus on the everyday stresses of life, and the simple avoidance of the possibility of committing triple homicide resulting from the lack of appreciation for the cooked meal you so lovingly prepared, might I add, after a nine hour day!
Quite often it is not about them so much but more about us. When I say us I don’t mean politely pointing out our families/ misgivings, what I mean is, how we chose to react to this blatant disregard and outright ungrateful behaviour! I assure you I am not bitter!
So what did I do? In the quest to adjust me, rather than the family/colleagues/friends, I have personally embarked on a journey of self actualisation through my incessant reading of texts such as (in chronological order),
Feel the fear and do it anyway
Why men love bitches! (a highly recommended read)
A happy pocketful of money
The science of getting rich
How to win friends and influence people
The 7 habits of highly effective people
Think and grow rich
The richest man in Babylon
and more recently The Game of Life and How to Play it
This isn’t even all of them, this is just the most well known. The list goes on and on and on and on, well you get my drift. So did they help? In short, to a degree, one of the things that was most apparent, is that none of what has been suggested in any of the aforementioned text claim to be the answer. They aim to provide a conduit for enlightenment, a way of simply finding the answers within. Now as supportive as I am of that, this was simply not good enough!!! I needed more….for the sake of my criminal record or lack thereof. This may be an explanation as to why I have read so many…..desperation!
Weeks ago my answer came (note the use of the pronoun ‘my’). It came in the form of yet another book. This book was quite aptly titled, F**k it! Yes that is correct. Google it, I assure you it is real, in fact here is a picture!
This book in short says we are only bothered by things because we assign a degree of importance to them. By saying f**k it to that level of importance we are effectively lifting the subsequent burden (real or perceived) that these things create.
Let’s put this into context. Your colleague offers everyone but you a malteser (replace with your vice of choice). What do you do?
- Jump from your seat declaring that she always does her best to make you feel left out and that you are sick and tired of this juvenile behaviour, grow up!
- Assume a state of vengeance, promising to give her a taste of her own medicine the following day
- Say f**k it. It really isn’t that big a deal.
Let’s put it into the family context. You return home from a nine hour day and in your usual style you lovingly prepare a meal for your family. The meal is laid on the table and the family informed of the awaiting banquet. They arrive and declare ‘what is this, you know I don’t like onions, why do you always have to cook with onions, tut, I can’t eat this! What do you do?
- Tell them to shove their opinions up there rear ends and launch into a tirade declaring their ungratefulness and inability to see the wood for the trees
- Set about creating individual meals that are more appealing to their palate
- Say f**k it (to yourself of course) your job is done. The meal is on the table; if they are hungry they will eat and simply proceed to fill your belly.
Yes I jest and over simplify to a degree, just be assured that this is simply my way of illustrating that there are few things in life that are important enough to risk ones mental well-being. If your significant other, child or colleague were to depart would you think about their inability to flush after every visit, the use of every cup in the house or their inability to wipe down the microwave after using it. Those things would become strangely endearing. So why can that time not be now? Yes people will think you have lost your mind but hey, people thinking you have lost it so that you can keep it, is a small price to pay.
So go on, say f**k it today!
Love and Light
The Baking BodyBuilder